All day, all night

Sunday, 16 June 2013


When I came to Spain and I saw people party,
I told to myself: What the f&ck?!'

It's been just under a week since I returned from a rather wild long weekend in Mallorca, therefore I think it's about time I blog it before it goes all grey and stale. In five whole days, we managed to cram in more than your average. Personally I instigated more dance-offs to Fatman Scoop that it's even worth mentioning. I bet you think I'm joking; I'm not. Can I get a whoop-whoop?

So I've been to Magalluf and seemingly done it all. Well apart from a stag/hen weekend, throwing up on myself, sleeping with random strangers, getting a tattoo, taking a trip to A&E abroad... okay, suddenly my wild weekend is sounding more and more gran-daddy. But I insist we did our fair share. We were in the thick of a foam party, saw DJ Sammy live and screamed along to "I'm On A Boat" whilst on a boat. Life highlight, for sure. From said boat, I divebombed into the Mediterranean Sea and swam in semi-circles until they begged me to re-board. I dusted off my once-well-practiced Soulja Boy dance and showed the Balearics just what it's all about. I went wet and wild at a waterpark - how's that for a proper holiday feeling?

We stayed at the Mallorca Rocks Apartments, about a 200m walk down the road from the main Mallorca Rocks Hotel. They're much and much the same, except the apartments come with built-in Quiet Time. We had read some proper horror stories about our accommodation - of course, after we had already booked it - but having experienced it, I can say that it was actually not bad at all and for a cheap stay I would recommend. If you're looking for the parties in Magalluf as well, then Mallorca Rocks offer some outstanding deals for nights out when you pay in advance. A rep will talk you through all the things you could get up to, in their hungover/not-bothered kind of way and strangely enough it will make you yearn to do things. We booked our day at the waterpark, plus the boat party, seeing DJ Sammy at local big-club BCM, another night at BCM for a aptly-named Washing Machine Party for 120€. Not actually bad when you consider that in BCM, once you were inside then all drinks were completely and utterly free. Which = two nights of moneysaving! Also drinks were down to a euro on the boat. And to top it all off, we had the opening party at Mallorca Rocks on the first night thrown in for free. Score.

But really, what can I say about my mini Mallorcan adventure? Not an awful lot. It passed in a breeze, which I guess is the whole point of a whistlestop tour. I do think four nights/five days was enough, however I am dreaming about the constant sunshine now I'm back in the UK which seems to be experiencing autumn AGAIN. All I can advise is that everybody has to have this kind of holiday once in their life. A fast-paced brave rave where you drink 3€ supermarket sangria as a starter, roll home at 5am, eat alioli on toast for breakfast, sleep all day in the sun - smothered in Factor 30 - and dance your arse off to Swedish House Mafia one too many times. Wait, what am I talking about? Keep on dancing! Pack your flattest comfiest dancing shoes (my £4 Primark sandals worked a treat), a few bikinis, sun cream and a cold bottle of after sun, some mini plug-in iPod speakers, sunglasses, worthy reading material and plenty of versatile sundresses. Holiday = sorted. Wear no make-up. Take good friends. I swear, you're never too old.